Rekindle Your Romance Date Night #3: Plan!

We need a date night plan! Without one, Jason and I will stay home, relax, and settle into our comfy rut. I mean, we've been developing this rut for a long time. (Ahem, a few decades.) Sometimes, having a rut to share with your spouse sounds great. Like the weather is terrible. We're exhausted at day's end. And if you're like us, you're playing catch-up after Christmas spending. So staying home may seem like the perfect solution.

Yet, what about romance?
What about the date night challenge?
What about spending quality romantic time with your spouse as much as you can in 2018?

I confess, this week, we didn't have a plan.

However, in full disclosure, after my workshop last Saturday, Jason suggested we go to dinner. So we went to a restaurant, chatted about the workshop, and talked about the type of house we should live in next. But, as thoughtful as the outing was, it wasn't a date.

You know what I mean, right? There's a difference between the things we do on a regular basis as a married couple--eating together, shopping, watching TV--and the things we do when we're focused on being romantic and dating. For each couple it's different. For me it means flirty glances, hand-holding, stolen kisses, and experiencing something new together. And did I mention ... flirting? (Yes, even as a long-time married couple, flirting with each other is still part of our dance.)

Actual dating is something new for us, and we can easily slip back into our stay-at-home comfort zone. However, my goal for this year is for us to date more and focus on rekindling our romance.

How about you?
Do you and your spouse have a date night plan?

If not, may I recommend my free resource "Rekindle Your Romance! 50+ Date Night Ideas for Married Couples?" I apologize for the blatant advertising. But, hey, it is free. It's packed with ideas for date nights. Couples can use the suggestions they like, and hopefully the 50+ ideas will stir up some creative date night possibilities of your own.

For us, we need to talk about our plans early in the week, or else too many days can pass without us dating or working on rekindling our romance.

Then we get too comfy in our rut.
Perhaps, feel bored.
Or even get grumpy.
(Or is that only me?)

Spontaneity has its place in marriage too. I'm all for surprises. An unexpected romantic getaway sounds fabulous, especially in the middle of winter.

But I also like having something to look forward to.

I enjoy daydreaming about Jason and me dating.
Where shall we go next?
Is there a local venue we haven't explored lately?

Where will you go with your spouse this weekend?
What are you going to see or do?
Remember, both of you can come up with ideas. If you can't agree on one, toss a coin. Go with one of your ideas this week, and your spouse's idea next week. The point is to go. Have fun. Be together.

Hold hands.
Kiss.
Smile at each other.
Tell each other special things along the way.
Whisper sweet nothings during that movie or walk.
Laugh.
Talk.
Share ideas.
Dream.

Let's make our marriages stronger, happier, and more fun!

Plan something enjoyable with your spouse for tonight or tomorrow, or next week.
Dating your husband/wife is worth every bit of effort it takes: planning, saving, getting a babysitter, etc. If you have a tight budget, that's okay. It's not about going anywhere fancy. It's about being together, being romantic, and having fun.

Ready.
Set.
Plan.
Date your spouse!

Mary Hanks writes about second chances, marriage restoration, and rekindling romance. Visit maryehanks.com.

If you missed the first two blogs in this Date Night series, check out:

Rekindle Your Romance Date Night #1

Rekindle Your Romance Date Night #2

Why I Write Stories of Reconciliation

If you've read my posts or any of my women's fiction, you know I write stories about second chances in marriage--about broken couples who defy the odds and find their way back to each other. You might wonder, is she blind to divorce rates? Unfeeling toward people on their second or third marriages? Is she living in some kind of fantasy world to imagine relationships can recover from horrible rifts, and even the worst crime against marriage--infidelity?

When put that way, it seems like a ridiculous impossibility, doesn't it?

The truth is, before my tenth birthday, my parents divorced. I have relatives who have divorced and married someone else and seem quite happy. And even though Jason and I agreed early on not to mention the "D" word, at a couple of dividing lines in our relationship, we considered separating.

I'm not foolish enough to believe all marriages should be reconciled. If violence is involved, run, flee! Even as a child, I never wished for my parents to get back together.

So why do I write stories of second chances? First, I love reading them. Two of my favorite reconciliation books are Francine Rivers' And the Shofar Blew and Karen Kingsbury's A Time to Dance. I've read both of these inspirational books many times. Second, through telling the married fictional tales of Winter and Ty, April and Chad, Summer and Josh, and now, Autumn and Gar, I get to relive the wonder of a husband and wife falling in love with each other all over again. Bits and pieces of these couples' lives do come from my heart. The saying about writers bleeding into their work is true. Are the books autobiographical? No. But here and there, real life seeps in. The other reason I love reconciliation stories is that I believe in God's amazing power to transform and change couples in such a way that they can let go of their pride, their hurts, and their right to hate or act in revenge. That Jesus can soften a husband's and a wife's spirits to such a degree that they melt before the other one is powerful and life changing.

While I won't go into details of how Jason and I ended up in a bad situation, when we came to the point of deciding whether or not to split, we chose to stick together, instead. One day I turned on the audio of our wedding and asked Jason to listen with me. As I cried and listened to our young selves pledging the words "til death do us part" something gripped me. I had made a lifelong promise to my husband. I still wanted to be married to him. I was willing to fight for and do whatever it took to change, to be humble, to make a marked turnaround. We could only do that and have the testimony we do--we've been married 40 years--because of God's grace and power. He changed us. He made us whole. He brought true love back to our hearts and our home.

That's what I want to write about.