Big Plans for 2020

I’ve seen quite a few social media posts where people are sharing their “word” for 2020. Are you picking a word or a character trait to work on in the coming year?

I enjoy writing lists! Last year on New Year’s Eve, I stayed up late writing a huge list of all the things I'd love to accomplish in 2019. Mainly, it was a fun brainstorming session.

I started the year with high hopes for lots of accomplishments. But six months into 2019, a feeling of failure hit me. While many of those fabulous ideas still churned in my head, I’d hardly put a dent in my list and the year was fading fast. I was tiptoeing into discouragement, and I had to do something else quickly.

So, I erased the bullet points on my planning board and made a downsized list. By November, I revamped it again.

I learned that while my goal setting is meant to motivate and inspire me, it can also drag me down like weights around my neck. I don't want that to happen in the new year.

I want something better for you—and for me—in 2020!

If you're working on a yearly to-do list, or choosing that special word, and it inspires you, encourages you to think joyful thoughts, or helps you stay focused on the wonderful things in your life, that’s awesome! Keep doing those things!

But, if something doesn’t turn out the way you hoped, don’t let it whisper “failure," either. Give yourself a break. And, if others don’t succeed at their “word” or goals, give them a break, too.

We all need to have more grace with each other, and with ourselves.

Also, it’s fine to revamp the plan, make a new list, or choose a different “word” at any point throughout the year.

Why do our goals, plans, or word have to be set for a whole year or set on January 1st?

What about if we did a planning session on the first day of every month? Or the first day of every new season. Or even once a week.

The main thing is to find out what creative planning works best for you.

This New Year’s Eve I’m not making any lists. If I were going to pick a word for 2020, it would be “stubborn.” I want to be stubborn about some good things. And I’d only do that topic during the month of January.

In February it would be something else—like finding joy!

Maybe in March, I’d pick dancing to a different song each day.

Life is an adventure and we don’t have to compare or contrast achievements with anyone else. We don’t have to set goals or make plans like anyone else is doing.

Find out what works for you and do that!

Do what inspires you and brings creativity and hope in 2020!

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. Psalm 20:4

Happy 2020 to all of us!

Mary

Journey of a Mosaic

Have you ever wanted to do something, but you didn't quite know how to accomplish it? That was me on my journey to creating a unique table.

In April of '18 we bought a house and then spent a couple of months remodeling it. For a centerpiece for our ocean-themed home, I wanted to find a special dinner table. We visited local furniture stores and checked out tables online. Nothing grabbed our attention. Well, one did, but it was too expensive.

In July, I began playing with the idea of making a mosaic tabletop. Not a simple one, either. This would be a big project. Might take two weeks or something. ;)

I watched YouTube videos and spent lots of time looking at mosaics on Pinterest. I had some design ideas of my own--it had to be about the ocean, and not just to go along with our decor. I was writing a book about a seaside town. I'd lived on an island in Alaska for twenty-five years. I love the sea, so it just had to be.

About ten years ago, I bought a few pottery plates from the thrift store and busted them all up with a hammer--that was cool. Then I made an extremely simple mosaic on an end table. Perhaps that experiment gave me the courage to tackle a bigger project in the world of mosaics.

My husband, Jason, built a farm-style table and painted the top white. I ordered a bunch of glass mosaic tiles. I had no idea how many pieces it would take. I shopped at www.mosaicartsupply.com and chose tiles by color.

Honestly, I didn't know what I was getting into with this project. But I can say, I loved almost every step of the process. A friend asked me how long I thought it would take to do a mosaic that size, and I really did tell her two weeks. (Big chuckle.)

Our table is about 3' x 5', and we needed a sketch. I tell people my drawing skills are that of a five year old. But I determinedly spread out freezer paper and drew my design on it. Don't laugh!

Originally, I was going to do a scalloped circular design in the center, with an Alaskan scene in the middle. But then, we purchased a captain's wheel at an antique store and put it on the living room wall, so my design changed to replicate its shape.

I needed a more detailed drawing now. Jason's artistic skills bailed me out again. Thanks, Jas!

I used carbon paper beneath the sketch--I know, they still sell that stuff?--and I traced over the top to get this design transferred onto the table.

I decided to put a shell design in each corner of the tabletop, making freestyle, colorful waves going around the perimeter. At first, I used bright colorful pieces for the shells--I don't have a picture of that stage. But when they turned out looking more like cartoon shells, I scraped them off--which was difficult once they were glued down and dried--and then it was back to the drawing board. About that time, a friend gave me a shell that I loved. So I used it as inspiration in the new design. I think that turned out better.

My waves are, I admit, still quite colorful and cartoonish. If I were starting over, I would choose teal or gray for a better water color instead of the brighter green. Oh, well. I wasn't willing to scrape that part off.

Most of the mosaic tiles had to be cut at least once, sometimes two or three times to get the shape and size I wanted. I tried to make action in the waves around the sides with a mismatch of color and tiles going in different directions.

Finally, the exciting day came when the outer portion of the table was finished. I could now work on the four ripples of water. This was an emotional phase for me because of the symbolism I envisioned. I arranged four dinner plates on the table to make equal sizes for the ripples, and drew around them.Then, in the center of each circle, I placed an inch-wide gray tile, trimmed in a circular shape, that would represent a rock. Four rocks in the center of four ripples, symbolically thrown into the sea of life--our four kids making their own ripples in this world. Gets me teary still. I loved working on those ripples, praying for and thinking about my kiddos who are all grown now, while I did it.

The tile work was slow. Much slower than two weeks! My hands ached from all the cutting, but I was determined to have my table ready by Thanksgiving. (In all, it took about four months of part-time work.) I was also busy writing and editing a book. However, I worked on the table in the evenings when I didn't want to stare at a computer screen any longer. Doing anything artistic is therapeutic and inspirational for me. I loved experimenting with this mosaic! Piece by piece, it formed into something new and interesting.

Each time I moved to a different section of the table it was exciting. It was so much fun to see the pieces coming together, making a whole.

Here, I must say, I told myself I probably wouldn't like the finished product once I grouted it. I'd read that using a dark grout was best for a piece of art. That it makes the design pop out better. But part of me wanted to keep it light. I'd grouted with dark gray around white stones for the back-splash in my kitchen, and I didn't like it at first, either. Time would tell about this one.

I couldn't wait to begin tiling the center of this project. I feared doing it too. It would be more intricate in design. The pieces smaller. A more challenging scene.

I kept cutting glass and filling in more and more white space. I ordered mosaic tiles four times!

The center picture took a lot longer than I thought it would. The boat lines were the hardest--so very thin.

Also, I struggled with recreating the northern lights. How could I make the gorgeous lights I'd seen in Alaska look like they were dancing in a mosaic picture? I tried various colors. Turned the pieces this way and that. Some I scraped off. Tried again. And again. Sigh.

Finally, for better or for worse, the glass work was done. Hallelujah! Now came the scariest part of all: grouting. Covering the whole design with goo, not knowing how it would turn out, freaked me out. Would I hate the finished project? Once I started, there was no turning back. Part of me didn't want to move forward. However, Thanksgiving was drawing near.

When I put the grout on this center portion, I was so nervous. What if I couldn't get it off? I also had to try not to make a mess of the other parts I'd already finished and cleaned.

It did work! Yay! And I didn't hate it. However, like I thought, I didn't love the darker grout around the white ripples.

The change was an adjustment for my artistic side. Although, after a month of looking at it, and smoothing my hands over it, I can affirm that the dark grout ties all the elements together in a cool way, making one "mosaic" out of many pieces.

Kind of reminds me of the body of Christ. Alone we are jewels, shining bright. But together, we create an awesome, beautiful picture of love and grace and resilience.

Jason stained the table legs and sides black. I spent about eight hours running a tiny brush dipped in sealant over the tiny lines of grout around every piece of glass, being careful not to get liquid on the tiles. That was challenging, but the time was worth it in preserving the integrity of the grout. Some people have asked if we are going to put a glass piece over the tabletop. We've decided not to do that. In the future, if something stains the grout, it will become part of the picture, changing through the years--kind of like us.

We used the table at Thanksgiving and Christmas!

And I can say, I'm hooked on mosaic artistry. I can't wait to begin my next project. I hope these photos will inspire you to give mosaics a try too.

~

Mary Hanks writes inspirational romances about couples finding their way back to love and grace. She also enjoys dabbling in various art forms. To follow her journey, "like" her author facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/MaryEHanksAuthor

Waiting Again?

Waiting can seem endless.

Like life is flying by for everyone.

But me.

When will my turn come?

Will things change for the better?

Ever been there?

If you’re like me, you've experienced the waiting season many times.

Waiting can be so hard. But hope keeps us watching for something good.

Maybe the house will sell this week.

I might get that job I applied for.

My acceptance letter could come soon.

Tomorrow, I'll feel better.

Do you count the days until you're going on a trip or to a special event?

I do. But there are times when we don't know how long it will take for something we're waiting for to happen.

I waited a whole year for my house to sell. We'd spent several months remodeling, and then we moved out at the end of last summer, thinking it would sell right away. But after six weeks and the place didn't sell, we moved back in, feeling a little defeated. Had we made the wrong choice in trying to sell? Did we jump the gun on God's plan for us? We didn't know the answers. So we spent the winter and spring and summer in our country home--that was quite nice since it was freshly painted and beautiful--allowing it to be shown in all the seasons, but not knowing if it would actually sell. It required special financing, so the right person had to come along. Would that happen?

We kept praying. And waiting. And I wrote a book. :)

Finally, toward the end of this summer, the house sold. Hallelujah! Our waiting time was over. Then we had a lot to accomplish to get everything out of the house again and to do the final cleaning. It was comical because the next weeks went by really fast. Time is like that. When we're hyper-focused on what's not happening and we're stuck in the waiting season, everything seems to take a long time. Then zoom. We're on the fast track, and we can't believe how quickly the days go by.

But, oh, those waiting times ...

Remember when you were a kid waiting for summer break? Then, later, did you tire of summer and get super excited for school to start? Then, did you turn around and count the days until Christmas?

Or have you waited for a highly-anticipated event, like a wedding or for a baby to be born? Those months can seem like forever.

Or, perhaps, you're in a waiting season now.

Maybe you're waiting for someone to return from military service.

Or for the grandchildren to visit.

Or to take a long-awaited trip.
Or you're waiting for a job.

Or for a healing or a personal need to be met.

Life has many waiting seasons.

Does this particular season seem to be taking forever?
If so, I totally empathize with you.

And while I admit to being a less-than-successful waiter at times, here are a few practical ideas that have helped me during my seasons of waiting. 

Try to stay busy. Start a project or hobby. Paint a picture (or the house). Do puzzles. Write a book. Time really does seem to go by faster when you're busy.

Visit with friends. Don't become a hermit, which is my tendency. Get out and have coffee and a nice chat with a friend as often as possible. Sharing your struggles with someone who understands helps. As does hearing about someone else's life, which can make our own problems, or waiting time, not seem quite as bad.

Laugh. (Snicker, giggle, guffaw.) Become childlike. Sometimes I take myself and what's happening around me way too seriously. Laughter is medicinal. Tell stories and laugh. Watch a funny movie. Really belly laugh. Life is beautiful. And honestly, even though it may not seem like it right now, life is passing by fast. Let's look for ways to enjoy it.

Read. Take an adventure through reading. A waiting season is a great time to visit the library and get a stack of books, or download books on your kindle, and experience life in someone else's shoes.

Maybe you've always been interested in treasure hunting. Now is the perfect time to read books on that topic. Maybe you've wanted to learn knitting. Grab a how-to book--and a skein of yarn and needles. No better time to learn than now!

Walk. Get a step counting app and see the world around you by walking and keeping track of your steps. Have a competitive friend or spouse? Make a race of it to see who can do the most steps in a week or month. Winner buys dinner or coffee?

Pray. Hope. Believe good is on the way. Because surely it is. Also, pray for others. Being concerned about others helps us get our mind off of our woes.


I confess that I've struggled with my waiting times. Why doesn't God answer sooner? Did I sin and that's keeping Him from resolving my dilemma? Did I miss the boat? Depression and low self-esteem can sneak in and rob my joy way too easily.

But it seems to me that waiting is a kind of testing ground of personal struggle that builds something good and strong in us. Like this verse says: "We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." (Rom 5:3-4) Waiting can be a form of suffering, that builds strength, which builds character, and we can learn from that process, if only we are willing.

A friend of ours would say, "What is God trying to say to you in this situation?" 

Which makes me sit back and ponder, is God teaching me something through my waiting? Do I need more character building? Um, probably so. But it can be such a painful process.

Lastly, looking for the good in a situation, and being thankful, can be a powerful stepping stone to hope. Jason and I realized we were extremely thankful for a warm house during the winter. We got the chance to say goodbye to a home that had been the last place we lived in with our four kids. It seemed we needed the sentimental time of letting go. God knows our hearts and what we need, sometimes even when we don't realize it ourselves.

If you are in a waiting time right now, I pray that you find peace and joy right in the middle of the struggle. And that you will see how hope can overcome discouragement--even in a waiting season.

And don't forget, something good may be just around the corner.

Don't Like My Writing?

If you don’t like my stories, that's okay!

Not everyone will.

I respect that.

There are books and movies I don’t like.

Some people love what I absolutely dislike.

We all have different things that appeal to us.

Look at a painting in a gallery.

If a hundred people stood in front of the exact picture and offered comments, there would be one hundred views. Some would delight in it. Ooh and aah. They’d say how the lighting was perfect. The colors enchanting. While others would think “blech.” Some would question why the painting was even allowed to hang on the wall.

We ALL have our opinions.

Go to any page on Amazon. In fact, go to the product page of a book or movie you love, and you will see negative reviews. (Of course, there are exceptions.) I always wonder how someone could say such an awful thing about a book or movie I enjoyed.

One of my favorite reconciliation stories is A Time to Dance by Karen Kingsbury. Hallmark recently made this outstanding story of marital healing into a movie, which I’m excited to see. On Amazon, the book has received 257 reviews.

“This is the book that made me love Karen Kingsbury's books.”~5 stars

“This one will not disappoint anyone!”~5 stars

And then ...

“I found this book emotionally exhausting.”~2 stars

“I was appalled by the story line of this book.”~1 star

How can we read the same book and look at it so differently?

I think it comes down to opinions, tastes, expectations, and sunglasses.

Let’s imagine differing views on a marriage-themed fiction book:

Opinion:

I don’t like reading about a married couple going through difficulties.

I like stories about couples finding hope and healing in their relationship.

Taste:

I prefer boy-meets-girl stories. I like the excitement leading up to marriage.

I’m excited to see how God is going to bring hope and healing to a married couple.

Expectation:

I want a simple story of love or adventure. Nothing too deep.

I enjoy a book that challenges me to look at life and my marriage differently. 

Sunglasses: We all look at the world through our own past experiences.

I’ve gone through my own tough times. I sure don’t want to read about someone else's.

I relate to hurts and struggles in marriage. I’m encouraged by the characters trusting God and working to make their relationship better.

A friend went through a painful struggle in her marriage. She told me during that difficult time, she searched for books having to do with what she was going through. During my marriage crises, books like the one I mentioned above, A Time to Dance, and Francine Rivers’s And the Shofar Blew encouraged me.

Our journey through life is better because of the uplifting tales we read. So many times I’ve learned something in a marriage-themed book that has made me a better wife ... and person. Stories have uplifted me, challenged me, and spurred me toward a positive change.

But these types of books are not for everyone.

That’s okay.

A lady at church explained why she doesn't read my women's fiction books. As a single, she doesn’t read romantic stories at all. Yet, she continues to ask about my youth-theater stories as a way to encourage me. I appreciate that. And I’d like to say “thank you” to friends and family who don’t care for marriage-themed stories, yet still encourage me as a writer. You are a blessing.

I hope that just because a story has a married couple as main characters, people won’t give it a thumbs down. The world needs to see the love of God in the hearts of married people and families as they work through brokenness and hurts. God is the healer and redeemer. He changes people--and married couples--for the better. I can testify to this.

Stories of healing, redemption, and reconciliation are the kinds of stories I love.

I hope to keep writing and reading them.

Stories should reflect life.

God is a real part of my life.

He's shown up in my desperate hour. He’s walked me through the storms. He’s been the glue in my marriage. He's here for you and me today.

I want to experience more of His hope and healing.

In writing. In life. In second chances.

Why I Write Stories of Reconciliation

If you've read my posts or any of my women's fiction, you know I write stories about second chances in marriage--about broken couples who defy the odds and find their way back to each other. You might wonder, is she blind to divorce rates? Unfeeling toward people on their second or third marriages? Is she living in some kind of fantasy world to imagine relationships can recover from horrible rifts, and even the worst crime against marriage--infidelity?

When put that way, it seems like a ridiculous impossibility, doesn't it?

The truth is, before my tenth birthday, my parents divorced. I have relatives who have divorced and married someone else and seem quite happy. And even though Jason and I agreed early on not to mention the "D" word, at a couple of dividing lines in our relationship, we considered separating.

I'm not foolish enough to believe all marriages should be reconciled. If violence is involved, run, flee! Even as a child, I never wished for my parents to get back together.

So why do I write stories of second chances? First, I love reading them. Two of my favorite reconciliation books are Francine Rivers' And the Shofar Blew and Karen Kingsbury's A Time to Dance. I've read both of these inspirational books many times. Second, through telling the married fictional tales of Winter and Ty, April and Chad, Summer and Josh, and now, Autumn and Gar, I get to relive the wonder of a husband and wife falling in love with each other all over again. Bits and pieces of these couples' lives do come from my heart. The saying about writers bleeding into their work is true. Are the books autobiographical? No. But here and there, real life seeps in. The other reason I love reconciliation stories is that I believe in God's amazing power to transform and change couples in such a way that they can let go of their pride, their hurts, and their right to hate or act in revenge. That Jesus can soften a husband's and a wife's spirits to such a degree that they melt before the other one is powerful and life changing.

While I won't go into details of how Jason and I ended up in a bad situation, when we came to the point of deciding whether or not to split, we chose to stick together, instead. One day I turned on the audio of our wedding and asked Jason to listen with me. As I cried and listened to our young selves pledging the words "til death do us part" something gripped me. I had made a lifelong promise to my husband. I still wanted to be married to him. I was willing to fight for and do whatever it took to change, to be humble, to make a marked turnaround. We could only do that and have the testimony we do--we've been married 40 years--because of God's grace and power. He changed us. He made us whole. He brought true love back to our hearts and our home.

That's what I want to write about.

Unfaithful Blogger

In 2015, I was an unfaithful blogger. 
There, I said it. Facing our flaws is half the battle, right?

Two things kept me from sharing. Limited time--I was determined to finish my book. And I felt I had nothing to offer.

It's not that I'm empty-headed--although, maybe I am--or that I don't have an opinion. Because I do! I just felt lacking. There are times as a mom I wished I were like June Cleaver or Dr. Quinn or Maria in the Sound of Music, women who had amazing gifts of wisdom to speak the exact words at the perfect moment. Oh, that's right, they had great writers! But, regardless, when I sit down to create a blog, I want to be like them. Or like one of those bloggers who spin amazing works three times a week and dazzle us with their introspection on life or faith or marriage.

Then, there's me. I sit down and stare at a blank screen and wonder what in the world I have to give.

I'm a dabbler in fiction. If you've read any of my stories, you've peeked into my heart. Without meaning to, I've revealed parts of me which under normal circumstances I would never share. By the way, if you've ever wondered which of my characters is most like me, it would be April Gray, before the editor got a hold of her.

Like most writers, I internalize way more than I should. I grew up with secrets. I like my privacy. Becoming open and vulnerable is foreign, unless I'm sitting across the table from someone drinking coffee and we just start sharing. I can actually say that now, because 21 days ago I started drinking coffee.

I'd like to say I have it all together. Surprise, I don't. I have dreams of having it all together. You know those moments when you see yourself as a perfectly put together wife, mom, writer, house cleaner, and servant of God? Yeah, about that . . .

In the real world, I work at and enjoy my marriage. Jason and I are good friends, and we're learning how to have fun in our post-raising-kids years. I still try to be a good mom, but the rules have changed. I have four adult kids and one daughter-in-law, now. When your kids are little, the world revolves around their needs and activities, and being a mom felt like my whole world. Then they grew up--as well, they should--and that process can leave moms and dads floundering. I'm a parent, and yet I'm not. It's a tiptoe act, but I'm getting better at it. Every day, I work at writing, whether it's at the keyboard or letting the characters come to life in my mind. I've never been a great housekeeper, but, oh well. I don't really aspire to that. Sorry, Jason. In 2015, I began learning more about God as my loving "Papa." In that capacity He is changing me, and that's a journey in itself.

My goal for 2016 is to become more vulnerable and open. I write the kinds of stories that I do for a reason, but I doubt I will ever be as tell-all as some writers. Most likely, my husband, kids, and brothers will thank me for that. But little by little, I hope to share more from my heart.

I may not have anything profound to say, but the truth is, we all live in a messy world. No one is perfect. We must all face our pasts and work through messy situations and relationships in the present. The beauty is that God can take all of that and transform us--day by day, sometimes, minute by minute--into who He wants. I'm on that journey. As are you.

A new year helps me reflect and look forward. I'm hoping to be more honest in my blogging and living in 2016.

Holding my Breath

When I release a new book, or play, I feel like I’m holding my breath. Waiting. Wondering. Will anyone like it? Can I, we, convey the heart of this story? Will someone “get” it?

Months, maybe a year, before Opening Night, or years if it’s a book, I've had a spark of an idea that could germinate into something bigger. It might start with a riled conversation, someone’s weakness, a character’s quirky trait, or like my latest play, a question. For me, the story develops slowly. I don’t know the ending, other than that it will be a happy one, and I don’t foresee the gritty details. But layer by layer, a tale emerges, then gets deeper and thicker with human flaws, details, interactions, and emotions.

While I typically work on a piece for a long time, I never know if the outcome will be what I'd hoped for. Is it good enough? Will the audience get the punch line? I remember one year standing behind the backdrops in my black tech clothes, holding my breath, waiting to see if the audience would laugh at a particular spot. When the laughter came, I grinned in relief at my assistant. That was a sweet moment. Another time, seven boys were doing a pretty awesome line dance. I was sure the audience would clap and cheer during the country music. I can’t see the faces in the crowd. I’m behind the set, listening, sometimes peeking through a tiny hole in the junction of two flats. On that night, throughout the entire routine, there wasn’t a sound from the audience. I couldn’t believe it. Disappointment crept through me. Then, as the song and lights faded, the room erupted with loud, wild applause. Whew. Big sigh.

With a play, I get immediate feedback in the clapping, the whistles, the laughter, the encore.

As an author, I don’t get to experience the groans, tears, or laughter as a reader absorbs the story I've lived in. After the release of a book, there’s silence. And it can be a little scary. Each day I wonder if someone, somewhere, is reading one of my books. Do they hate it? Do they like it? (grimace, sigh) I’m not sharing this to get praise or criticism for my books. Reviews do that job, and I’m not asking for that here. I’m just thinking about where I've been for the last two-and-a-half months since the release of April’s Storm. Other authors, artists, and theater directors might relate to this after-launch dilemma.

You see, I’m in wonder-land. A place of quiet contemplation. I ponder if a story that lived in my mind can be adequately felt, tasted, lived in someone else’s mind. What could I have done better? How could I improve with the next theme?

In three short weeks, I’ll get to “hear” the response for my next production A Taste of Joy, a story that started with a question—Could a person filled with joy make a difference? This Depression-Era tale is about me exploring that idea. For now, I’m filled with hope that between today and three weeks from now, my actors will step into their shoes and become their characters for a little while, to know and experience others’ pain and losses, and to find real joy in the midst of it.

And me? I’ll be backstage, behind beautifully painted flats, holding my breath a little . . . and listening.