Life is an adventure! (even after the kids are gone)

 

Do you ever wake up and feel like there isn’t any reason to get up? Who cares if I stay in my pjs all day? Why not veg in front of the tv, enjoying someone else’s life? How about devouring the whole pan of brownies or the carton of Moose Tracks ice cream? Where’s the purpose that drove you for so many years? Kids. A job. A house. A busy week ahead.

 

All these motivated me for three decades. Then things abruptly changed.

My house is now quiet. Seldom messy. I rarely bake. No pressing responsibilities—other than the occasional whiny dog needing to go outdoors. Meals are simple. The “umph” for getting up and getting going is gone.

Maybe I’m in midlife crisis. Maybe I really am getting O-L-D. (haha)

Remember the saying…”Life is a bowl of cherries, but this is the pits!”? Life changes—and aging—can be the pits.

Kids move out. The job ends. Dreams fade. Energy diminishes. What then? Am I done?

NO!!! (Well, I don’t think so.)

So, here’s what I’ve decided. I need ADVENTURE!

New experiences. Tasting things I’ve never tried in places I’ve never been. Seeing new sights. Having FUN just because!

Do you relate? If you’re over fifty, like me, I bet you do!

We all have a story to tell. A story to live. An adventure to find. Even still. Today. Now.

I’m ready to shake off the sadness over an empty house and live an adventure.

Fifty is my new fabulous! And my story is today.

What about you? What kind of adventure are you going to live this week?

Weeds in Me

It’s time to dig out the weeds in my berry patch—again! Every year I do it, and every year weeds return. It doesn’t matter if I dig down to the bottom of the roots or not, they’re determined to invade my berry patch like a plague. The above picture shows half my garden after I’ve hand-pulled weeds. The next one shows my very weedy, grass-overgrown patch—like the first half was before I got to it. If only I could figure out the trick to getting rid of weeds permanently.

Kind of like weeds in my life.

Those things I thought were gone forever, at an unsuspecting moment, pop up. Look at us. We’re back to bother you! Habits and thoughts I know are washed away taunt me like those naughty weeds in my garden. I give a problem to the Lord. It’s gone, right? But up a weed shoots at some unsuspecting moment, reminding me it can overrun my garden if I’m neglectful.

Is there a cure?

Soaking in the presence of Jesus is the only consistent life-weeding I know. Distractions are rampant on every side. Responsibilities and entertainment pull us this way and that. Yet, it’s exactly when I’m distracted and overly-busy that weeds in me grow out of control. When I’m focused on God, lost in Him, delighting in worship, things bother me much less. The weeds seem to be choked of oxygen.

Yet, I'm human, and I realize those grubby weeds are going to come back again. But I’m determined to stop them from overtaking my life—and my garden.

What do you do about weeds?

Do You Dream about Writing a Book?

 

Seeing a dream fulfilled is worth more than money. Way more, in my estimation.

I could have waited the rest of my life, hoping for a nod from an agent, and never published my book. That’s the road I was headed down. I’d already given up a couple of times.

Now, six weeks after independently publishing my book, family and friends and new acquaintances are reading Winter’s Past and sharing their feelings about this story of 2^nd chances. Holding my book in my hands would not have happened had I waited for more years to pass, just hoping for an open door (or window) in the publishing world.

Instead, I’ve joined the ranks of Indie writers around the world who can say they’ve taken matters into their own hands and their books are now published. And, I’m happy to say, the journey wasn’t that difficult.

After I published Winter’s Past, it seemed like people all around me were talking about the books they wanted to have published. Friends have been working on ideas for years, hoping for their someday-chance, but, so far, they haven’t seen their hopes fulfilled. And time is passing. Could they still get their book of short stories or devotions published? Is marketing possible beyond close family and friends?

YES! By all means.

But it all starts with making a decision. Should you go the indie publishing route? It really comes down to what your goals are. If you hope to make loads of money, writing may not be the best choice. Not that there isn’t money in writing, but it will take time and a lot of diligence. For me, getting my book into the hands of readers has been the biggest thrill. Knowing that tonight someone is reading my book and perhaps the story is touching his or her life means everything.

Has writing a book been in your heart for as long as you can remember? Do you still long to hold your story in your hands? If so, don’t let anything—money included—stand in your way.

If you’re not adverse to hard work, and you have the time to put into it, why not start today?

Of course, it would be a lot easier if you could snag the attention of an agent. And maybe, you should go down that road first. Just so that somewhere along life’s path, you never regret “not” having tried the big time.

On the other hand, you could make a decision to be an indie writer and purposefully pursue that dream, doing the work yourself, and within a planned time (like three months to a year) you could be holding your book in your hands and selling books to friends, family, and new acquaintances through social media and word-of-mouth marketing. The only limit is yourself.

So, if you’re thinking seriously about becoming a published author, what’s the next step?

Dig that old manuscript out of the drawer and start editing with a fresh viewpoint and a new fervor. If you haven’t written the story that’s played over and over in your mind, start writing tonight. What’s to stop you? Nothing! That’s what.

Today's a new day with brand new opportunities. You can make your dream of writing a book come true. I did!

Check out Winter’s Past at http://www.maryehanks.com

A great website for practical advice about indie publishing is www.self-publishing-coach.com

I Thought I Did Forgive Him

When they put out those cute cards at weddings or bridal showers, asking for advice, I always write the same thing. Be quick to forgive.

He’s human. I’m human. We say stupid things—accidentally, of course. He can be an insensitive clout. I can stick my foot in my mouth faster than you can breathe. We’re going to crush each other’s spirits sometimes. It’s sad, but true.

So, in relationships—especially marriage—we must keep reminding ourselves to be quick to forgive. Not just to say the words. Really mean them. If we're not quick to forgive, we can ask God to heal our un-forgiveness.

When I pause for a second to consider what God has forgiven me of, how can I hold something against someone else?

But, what if, one day, God shines a spotlight on your heart—He’s really good at doing that—and suddenly you realize there’s a hurt tearing a little bit inside you each time you think of that awful thing your husband—or someone in your past—did? What then?

Saying “I forgive, I forgive, I forgive” like a mantra isn’t going to help. Well, you can try it. But, from experience, I can say it doesn’t help.

I’ve heard forgiveness—like love—is a choice. But there are some things that seem bigger than us. Like hurt. Especially hurts we’ve held onto—even unknowingly. Sometimes we make an agreement with our hurt. I’m entitled to be angry. He doesn’t deserve my forgiveness. He needs to pay. When the truth is, we’re the ones paying, because we’re clinging to our pain, nursing it, even rejoicing in past wounds to keep them alive, so we never forget.

I’m not minimizing your pain. Awful things do happen to good people. And I hurt with you over any hurts or losses in your life.

When God showed me I hadn’t forgiven someone in my past, it surprised me, because I thought I had. But now that He'd brought it to light, I knew it was time for me to let His healing begin. Of course, I needed to face it, and ask God to forgive me for holding something against someone, when He'd forgiven me of so much. In a moment, our Lord can erase hurt and loss and pain faster than any remedy humans can invent. It was like heavenly oil pouring over my soul. Un-forgiveness was a sneaky, cancerous wound, and I needed the fire of the Holy Spirit to consume the sin and make me whole. And He did.

There’s such a relief when someone forgives me. And I’ve experienced the sweetest peace when God in His love brought forgiveness to my own aching heart. It was all His work. A miracle of healing as great as any restoration of physical health.

Forgiveness  can happen in a moment or it can be a journey. The first step is allowing God's love and healing to pour over us. In Him is true peace--and a forgiveness that goes way beyond our own understanding.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Eph. 4:32 

(I’ll continue my journey-to-publishing topic next time.)

Check out Mary's new book "Winter's Past".

Celebrate with me!

I want to celebrate a huge dream that has come to pass in my life this week. My book has been published! Hurray! Please, rejoice with me. :)

Quite a few years ago, I started Winter's Past. Then I'd set it aside. Then I'd pick it up. Uh-huh, you get the picture. About four-and-a-half years ago, I quit my full-time job and immediately started working on Winter's Past on a daily basis. I did the rounds of trying to get an agent interested in my project. I attended a writer's conference. Then I decided the really big thing I needed to do was to get my story professionally edited.

So I did that.

By the time I thought I had all my ducks lined up in a row, my emotions took control, and I got discouraged. Maybe I wasn't a writer, after all. So I put my novel writing away for over a year. I was still working at youth theater and coming up with some lively material. But I hated that I'd stopped writing my novel.

During the summer I took a part-time job at a local library. And there were parts of it that I really liked. But in the end, I decided it wasn't quite what I was looking for. It was then that I felt I should plunge back into the waters of serious writing and editing. It was like...now was the time. At this point, I still thought I'd go through the (what I thought was) proper channels to getting my book published--find an agent, wait a year, maybe get someone to cheer me on in the publishing world.

A couple of months ago, my son, who was also working on a writing project, started talking to me about the benefits and open doors available today with self-publishing. I know, that! Hahaha. The more he talked, and the more I read about the new wave of indie authors, the more excited I got about it.

But what about a small publishing house without the need for a go-between agent? you might ask. So did I. When I looked up a few that had been recommended to me, I found the waiting time for potential books to be published about two years out. What? I'd have to wait two more years to have my book in my hands? Yikes! I really didn't want to wait that long. Not after all the wasted time I'd already spent.

So I decided to take the plunge and give "indie" publishing a whirl. So...in my next few posts, I'm going to share some of my experiences with you.

Yep--you can see I did it!
And there was nothing--nothing--like holding that book in my hand.
Stay tuned for more.

Check out Mary's book "Winter's Past"

What if That One Thing Never Happened?

What if that one thing never happened?

The thing you regret.
The hurt that’s hard to forgive.
The memory holding you back.

I’ve heard people say they have no regrets.

It’s hard to imagine a person who’s reached the wise-old age of 50 (snicker here, because that’s me) and doesn’t look back wishing she could change something or other.

We know God forgives. (Yay!)

We also know we must forgive, although we struggle with that idea sometimes.

So…when God forgives sin, is it still in His view? The Word says “…I (God) am he who blots out your transgressions…and remembers your sins no more.” (Isaiah 43:25) 

Blots out? Wow. Sounds like they’re gone! Vaporized.

Yes!

The problem, as I see it, germinates in me. Can I forgive myself—or the other person—the wrong or mistake or choice? Is it still hanging around me in a never-to-be-forgotten picture frame? Do I look at it longingly each morning, just so I don’t forget? If so, I’m definitely not forgiving like Jesus.

If God forgives my wrong—and He does—I must forgive others. I can’t hold something against someone else. Even when I think I’m justified in clinging to it.

Which makes me think…if I’m not holding wrong against anyone—including myself—why don’t I just go ahead and forget it ever happened? Live as if it didn't happen.

Zap.

No grudges. No pity parties. Gone. Vaporized.

Which makes me free.

At peace.

Forgiven.

Battle Cry!

Do we need a battle cry?

Everywhere we go, voices are yelling out: This politician lies! Vote for my candidate. Drive this car and you’re cool. If you do this, you’ll be beautiful. Charge this, it’s priceless.

Pretty soon, all the voices become a giant blur. A roar in our heads.

So what is a battle cry? A “war cry”, according to Merriam Webster’s.

Am I alluding that there’s a battle going on? Yes! A big one. A battle for our souls, our devotion, our peace of mind. When was the last time you were silent long enough to hear that “still small voice”? The roar has been getting bigger and wider.

We can’t fully imagine the realm and ramifications of our spiritual battles. Do you have a battle cry against the forces of evil?

In 2 Chronicles 13, Abijah, with an army half as large as the opposing one, stands on a hillside and boldly pronounces, “God is with us; he is our leader.” He warns them not to fight against the Lord. Refusing to listen, the warring side surrounds Abijah’s group, front and back.

Remember, it’s 2:1. Now things get interesting.

Abijah’s army could have run at this point. I might have. Instead, three things happen. One, they cry out to the Lord. Two, the priests blow their trumpets. Basically they’re saying—we’re gonna win this whole deal. And three, the men yell out a battle cry!

That makes me want to shout! I already did when I read it this morning. If it makes you want to shout, do it! J

This analogy of victory is so cool. *Call on the Lord. *Play an instrument or sing to the Lord—I would call this worship. *And let out an absolute battle cry.

“Praise God! Holy is the Lord!” We do have a battle cry. Whatever it is, it will be your own. A personal cry of victory. Trusting in God even though the circumstance before your eyes might not “look” like victory. We will shout, knowing the Lord God is fighting our battle!

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” 2 Corinthians 10: 4

“Holy is the Lord!”

What is your battle cry?